Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize