i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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