dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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