It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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