Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
