I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
