Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
