Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
