im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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