called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
