I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
