what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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