she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
