dude i'm inner monologue high
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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