I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
