I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
