Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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