I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
