Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
