If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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