I wanna bring you to show and tell
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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