just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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