Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
