i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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