Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Small penises have feelings too.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
