They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
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Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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