Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
