she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
