"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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