well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
