Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
