I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
