I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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