Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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