Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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