I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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