Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
