So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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