yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
