hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
