I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
