in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
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you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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