I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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