I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
