margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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