So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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