Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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