I'm pants shitting drunk right now
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
