I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
