i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize