whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
