Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize