Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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