so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
