She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
