therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
