i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Enjoy the penises
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
did i just pee glitter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
