Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
