Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
