I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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