I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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