did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
