After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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