love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
