People with herpes should wear stickers.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.