People with herpes should wear stickers.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.