it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
