So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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