There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
