Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
