Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
